Ubuntu

“I am because you are, you are because I am” or “Ubuntu” in the Xhosa and Zulu language meaning “the interconnectedness of humanity” 

 Our elders are what keep us connected, rooted and attuned with ourselves. Historically our elders were considered invaluable to our growth and understanding of self in community. Unfortunately modern society has fallen far from preserving this human necessity. We find evidence of this when we look at the deplorable, and unsafe facilities that we throw our elders into, from which so often is the beginning of their demise. We all have to commit to changing these patterns of destruction by providing a safe, caring, respectful, authentic and supportive environment for our elders. We should bring back ritual, griots, and natural medicines. Their inner wisdom, ancestral lineage and spiritual knowing should be honored, respected and shared within community. The benefits can provide self fulfilling preservation as we learn more about ourselves through their eyes, and they through ours.  

~Zaire King, MA, LMFT

The Dynamic Marriage

Marriage is like an organism- active, dynamic, changing, morphing, and in need of vitalizing properties. The fact is humans are adaptable to change and rigid and resistant to changing. Although change can be hard, it is inevitable whether we like it or not. Whether we choose to roll with life’s challenges as a couple, requires an openness and a willingness to understand each other’s needs. When we actively choose to evolve within and between the marriage, we invite opportunity for growth, satisfaction, and overall relational wellness. When the marriage certificate gets signed, it does preclude the challenges, confrontations and the hard work ahead. Marriage is not a fixed point for which we land, it is a journey. In marriage to be truly satisfied we must choose out partner daily, be willing to move with the tides of change, and maintain a healthy sense of self. Why choose movement? Because marriage is not stagnant, nor transactional, but flowing, and reciprocal. When we find a partner that we can connect with emotionally, physically and spiritually, we are truly understanding what it means to be relational beings. Marriage should feel like an adventure filled with moments of peace and joy. The adventures we seek can be by means of travel, sexuality, children, or whatever our heart desires. When we can take this ride with someone we love, trust and respect, life can be that much sweeter.

~ Zaire King, MA, LMFT